As the Deer...

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As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So my soul pants for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God;
When shall I come and appear before God?
~ Psalms 42:1-2 ~

As I grew and go through stages of life, if I am honest, I have always longed for something - a life partner, money, clothes, love, stability and the list goes on. I am not sure if there is a single person who does not longing for things. In recent times, that longing hasn't disappeared. No, I haven't become "super holy" at the point of enlightenment, those dreams and hopes are still there. Rather it is coming to the realisation what is it that I really value. For me, it is the completeness as a person. That can't be done by myself, but I need the presence of the One who calls me to being - God.

There has been a deep longing, moaning for His Presence. A soul that desires to reach that relationship with His Majesty; walking in step with Him, to hear His Voice just as Peter did. For me, the completeness who I am as a person isn't about running after some things but it is TRYING to be still enough to grow in the person God has created me to be.

The prayer time in some ways has turned more into worship and cries for His Presence, the willingness to humble and learn to listen to His Voice. I spend days pondering what is the meaning of life; the funny thing is that it gives me the purpose and drive in life - this pursue of His Presence. The longing and the pursuit reminds and by no means have I found that daily relationship, the constant communication with my Jesus yet. But standing on the promise that "His sheep will hear His Voice.." I will continue the pursuit because it is life. It strengthens, gives purpose and direction, molds my being and character, and brings me steps closer. Not only does He satisfies, but there are rest and peace in the longing and pursuit. 

If you haven't read Psalm 42, I encourage you to do so. It is a beautiful and majestic Psalm of one's belonging for His Majesty but I think it is also is a longing of every soul as well. 

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